Teddy bears, candy canes, and all that shit.

Tonight I'm just filled, more so than usual, with my own particular helpless rage.  It's the kind of rage that stems from a strong suspicion that something bad is going down and that someone I love is being made a fool of - yet any action, or any undue inaction, on my part might spell disaster.  In this particular situation, information is scant, multi-sourced, and has been processed through the Scoplawic Brain, which guesses well (mostly) and makes some good connections (mostly) and trusts itself.  Hence the problem.  Especially when I'm dealing with a few interlocking "hmm" moments from different sources which nonetheless crystallized into a single elegant, though appalling, explanation.

The blog, in a sense, is the wake my life - after the fact eddies that suggest what has already passed by. 
My actual life involves looking ahead.  I balance and guess and anticipate and try to shape things as they come.  But this situation is outside me, and thus I'm acutely torn between doing something and being yet another (because I'm sure there are many) passive bystander waiting for more information.   But I hesitate because I'm not 100% sure I'm right about some things, *nor* am I sure that even if I am right, any action I'm potentially contemplating would be beneficial.  I'm just outraged at the possibility that what I'm guessing might *actually be.*   I so wish I'm wrong. 

Comments

[Kat]

That's an unenviable position to be in, feeling responsible but helpless. Whoever the person is, they're lucky to have someone who cares about them enough to want to protect them, and be concerned and angry on their behalf. Whatever the decision, whatever the outcome, that's a pretty awesome gift.

[Scoplaw]

Thanks Kat.